May 11, 2015

My Take on #TTCT

Yesterday was mother's day so I pampered myself on the couch with cups of instant coffee (creamy white) and with movie marathon for the rest of the afternoon with typhoon Dodong on the background. Included on the list was 2 missed episodes from Grey's Anatomy, Still Alice and the last one which supposedly was planned to be watched with the siblings weeks ago but never seemed to happen.

For people I know who watched it already, most made a comment abt the movie being non-sense, wala lang daw, in short, disappointing. Now that I have seen it, I can say that it was a good movie and I liked it, recommend it even.

Will not delve into details about the movie but this question I would want to talk about.

I know that you have been through this right? Coz I did. 

I remember those days when I was just dazed and emotional. I turn the radio on really loud. I would dance around the room after bottles of san mig apol, would jump up and down the bed and then would bawl for minutes, lots of minutes. I then would set a deadline when to get over that person. At first a month and then a couple of LOTS of months.

Now where am I pointing at you ask. 

May phase kasi para makalimot.

First phase.You feel and sometimes act crazy. Yung eksena at litanyang "tang-ina, ayaw ko na ng ganito. Hindi na ako magmamahal. Okay naman buhay ko bago siya dumating. Ano ang point ni Lord, bakit pinayagan niya pa 'to? Ilang beses na pero iniwas ko kasi I am too old for high school love life drama tapos ngayon na sinubukan ko ulit i-open heart ko, lecheng sinaktan naman. Wala pang explanation, iniwan lang ako sa ere. Xet." sabay lagok ng beer.

Believe it or not, I did go through this phase. Puts a smile on my face pag naalala ko eksenang yan. May pa stalk-stalk ka pa nga sa facebook diba? Yung nagtatalo isip mo kung ia-unfriend at block mo ba siya. Sabi ng ilan, immature ka daw pag ginawa mo yun. Agree ka naman pero parusa pag friends pa din kayo sa SNS kasi nakikita mong ang bilis niyang maka move on. Putting salt on the wound nga sabi nila. Pero wag ka, kinaya ko, yung stalking phase siguro e nag tagal ng more than a month. 

I did stop when I saw he's happy with someone else na may bago nanaman siyang winish ko sa sarili ko na true love na niya. That fast yes. Naawa na ako sa sarili ko e. Ma re-realize mo na lang na yung akala mo real, parang wala lang pala sa kanya. That was my turning point.

Second phase. Life goes on. My favorite phase sa moving on. 
Wala e, alangan namang tumunganga at mag emote ka habang buhay diba? Anjan ang family, friends na may natitira pang pasensiya na nakikitang umiiyak for the longest time (yan ang friends na for keeps). I did manage na i-unfriend siya sa facebook. Walang bitter bitter sa pusong nasaktan. 

I did eventually get over that person. It took almost a year and as per a borrowed statement "..nagising na lang ako isang araw, nakalimutan ko na siya." Eto na yung phase na napaka gaan sa pakiramdam. 

Does that mean your heart is ready to fall again? Ay syempre, tao ka lang. The good thing about hurting is you learn. What I learned is, you don't plan for the future kahit gaano pa katagal kayo. I, just let it be. I take every love that I can get, it might not be enough pero I think what's important is the love that I give. I give what I have pero I make sure to leave some for myself. Plus the older you get, the better you understand. 

Yung eksena kung pano maka move on, oo tadhana nga siguro na makilala ni Mace si Anthony. Tadhana nga na halos muka ng scripted pero yun nga yung surprising diba? Yung taong darating para tulungan kang mag move on, hindi man kayo tinadhana para sa isa't isa, may forever friendship ka naman. 

Yung mga taong nagsabing walang kwenta yung movie, yun yung mga naniniwala pa din sa happily every after, mga fairy tales. Sila yung mga taong hindi pa nasubukang umibig ng deep.

You know what the weird thing is? During those 3 phases, I enjoyed those bitter-felt-moments. While I was going through it, in most times, I am grateful because it "might" be the last time I get to feel it. Part of my lesson is to know how to deal with people and to not easily fall for them.