May 31, 2012

le confucious

  Current Mood:

 hi. first of all, i've been neglecting my blog, and here I am wondering why my blog traffic is at pit bottom. i also have to change the settings so as not be found on any search engines. my blog is more accurate when it comes to updates about my "awesome" life and the reason behind deactivating my facebook will solely defeat the aim which is getting away from the perfect barbie dolls. as well as you know me already, i blog when i whine and mostly when I get confused. blogging about serious stuff doesn't make me that fulfilled at the end of the day because in reality, my life is really all that colorful and sunny . where am i getting at, am not sure,hence the current mood.
okay, here's the main reason for this post.

i keep asking for signs. i don't know what my priority in life is specifically on my career. 2 years ago, my only goal was to get a diploma. i keep telling myself that there is really no future to a 25 year old mother making it to the media world. i did not take summer classes because i am restless. now, the first semester is about to start and i haven't enrolled yet. last week up until now, i am undecided. my heart is not into studying this sem. i lost my scholarship, one of the many reasons. the stint that i have now is not enough even if me and mom agreed i pay half of my tuition and the other half would be paid by her. this kind of agreement between me and my mom is not what i consider good and the reason, i just keep it to myself. looking for another stint is what my goal is for 3 days now and have a very good perspective not until 3 hours ago. me and lil sis talked and she suggested a better plan. the thing is i have a few hours to decide whether i push through or not. i know i mentioned that her plan is better than mine but what i didn't expect it that soon. i want to look for another job in 2 months but if i missed the opportunity, i might not have a chance anymore.

so okay, i'ma update the resume now and we'll see if my body is willing to wake up early tomorrow for a job interview. i know, i suck at prioritizing and gathering thoughts.