Jan 12, 2012

days when I feel like I can't juggle anymore

In like every day, weekdays, every time I get home, the things that I am about to do depends if Pia is still awake or not. I am hoping that despite the hours that i used for school which is most of the day and the time that I use for work which is most of the night, I feel like that remaining minutes of her being awake by the time I get home even if its just for 30 minutes is super precious.

This has been the scenario for months now and tonight is one of those nights that  i feel like can't continue living like this anymore. Being a student is stressful, enough to keep my sanity away from me. My life has dramas and with schools petty dramas adding up, i am just so ready to explode.

At work,  4 hours is supposed to be okay but when I have tons of homework to do, there is no fun in it anymore. My work only has 4 hours but there are still breaks in between. Every time I have a break, I keep wishing that I could spend it with my daughter but nooo, because she is at home, with her dad.

Its hard to not complain especially if the people that I was thinking I can rely on is not helping because they have their own problems to deal with. Like for D, eversince his mom got sick, he started managing their business all by himself. He is always stressed, I can feel it and stressing him out even more is something that I am avoiding. My sisters are busy and talking to my mom never crossed my mind because I already know what she is going to say.

I am doing this post at the office. I have tons of stuff to deal with when I get home and since I have an hour break, why not use it to blog. There are other things that I want to talk about but sadly, I have to end it here, i just feel so down in the dumps right now :( . _kBye_