Jan 6, 2011

Sooo Not My Week

This week is so cruel to me. My yesterday's post was all about disappointments. Today, I got hell'a lot of bad news. Bad news that almost made me cry. Plus my class card on one of my subjects almost went to visit OSA. Talk about bringing it on today, someone out there was in the mood to test my patience. So anyway got a good look at my grades on 2 of my subjects and it is crap I tell you. I didn't realize until today that it is that hard to get a grade which I can be proud of. My grade is passing guys but it is not a bit worth the effort that I've put myself through. The sleepless nights reviewing before exams, the research I've done for every homework, the effort on making it on time for school etc. I admit that when it comes to recitation, I am a starter, after all, it has been awhile since the last time I interacted with someone while a lot of people are listening and staring in front of you, awkweeerd! A room full of people is the last thing I wanna be in right now, but since I chose this path, I have to give it my best shot especially now after finding out what my grade was for the first grading. Haven't seen the rest of my grade yet since the the school's crappy site is not allowing me to check it online.

Started making plans on how to make my grade proud-able, it is all in my head now but I'm scared
that if I lay it out to the world, I might disappoint myself. See, I have this thing about being wrong, I hate being wrong so I usually let others decide for me and often times, I seek approval from others before doing it. Being impulsive is not in my vocab, well not when it involves facing a lot of people. I hate crowds. Crowds make me feel awkward and a room full of students scares the shit out'a me. I know, I have to overcome this, I know I can be better, I just need a nudge or a punch of reality to knock me off my comfort zone. I can think of something and if that day comes, I'm gonna let you know all about it.

Well, till here. Happy thoughts! Tomorrow's Friday and the next day is family day.
Tonight Im'a figure out on how to pass 2 quizzes tomorrow without any handouts.