Dec 19, 2010

Thank God For Friends

What happened tonight was one THE most thing I missed doing so much. As weird as it may seem, that thing that I'm talking about is what some people do everyday but in my case, I only got to do for 3 times this year. I'm talking about meeting up with friends, my fwincesses and lulas. I so love it when we get together unplanned, meet up at a coffee shop, and spend hours and hours just gossiping about stuff and going down memory lane, laughing hard about stuff that made us get through years of working at an uber crappy company.

First of, let me share about how we came up with the term fwincesses and lulas. Firstly, it is not a group we intentionally created at work, we even aren't a group, "bff's" like what others may term it. We were just unintentional yosi buddies who unintentionally hate the same people, laughs at the same time at an unintentional circumstance and unintentionally became the so-called kontrabida of our team. Noticed how many times I used the unintentional word? It is because this is what I so love about my friends, unintentional stuff made us this tight. MJ and Juno which I call my 2 fwincesses just because and Lonni and Twace as my 2 lulas (lula-the same as Lola. The same term I guess when we call our girl friends as mare or girl (if your not a Filipino, learn the modern Filipino culture, or not).

So anyway, after almost a year, this was our first time to meet up. W
e get in touch via SMS or Facebook but we never get to have a real conversation until tonight. Juno and MJ works in Manila while Lonni and Twace is in Baguio but since life is that busy, we never get to meet up. Tonight was the only chance we get to hang out because my 2 fwincesses is in Baguio obvs and my Christmas break started 2 days ago. We talked a lot and God knows how much I missed these guys. I felt lighter inside because besides some of my dear friends in Baguio, I consider them as one of my ever so closest friends. Though we get to meet up only few times a year, I still am happy because I know in my heart that they are my friends whom I can rely on and just be myself, no pretensions. I only choose a few, the people/person I know I can confide, trust and rely on. I don't need many friends.

Tonight, I am back to just being a friend, the common-law wife, the mom, the sister. They helped me a lot just by being there, a super stress free time for me. The problem that I am in right now became pea size. Before tonight, I almost forgot how it felt like to be THE worry-free person. I almost fell into a trap where I felt so worthless.

Thank God for friends!

Dec 14, 2010

All I Want for Christmas

Good Morning Tuesday! I am up early today, as much as I don't want to, I really have to because today is the start of of our first grading examination. My first exam will start not later today but I have to get to school early because I haven't gotten my permit yet which as you all students know, is essential during exam. Need to be at school before 8 a.m because I don't wanna deal with long line going to the cashier.

So anyway, before I start my day completely, here is a short letter for Santa this coming Christmas...

Dear Santa,

Christmas is just around the corner. While a lot of people are fussing about what to get for Christmas, mine is not anything material, not now that is. I wish for good health for my family and loved ones all year round especially for my daughter Piatot (including you, yep the one who's reading this right now). Secondly, I wish that you sprinkle me with your magical "long patience" dust. I need this badly because someone is making my heart rage so much that every time I look at her, I just want to hit her or cuss at her. My heart is full of rage for her that all I do is think about stuff to get at her, she did hurt me so much and right now, she is hurting D's family emotionally, especially her kids & mama. I just wish that I have longer patience before I do something that I might regret after. Last thing I ask for you this Christmas is...hmm, I might need to reserve that for my other posts soon. This two mentioned are the most important this year. Hope you get this letter asap, if you have excess "long patience dust", sprinkle a little extra to get me through, say 3 years until I graduate.

Thanks in advance Santa. Ta-ta!

It's Jill, (the one who almost didn't make it to your NICE list).

As silly as the letter sounds, this 2 are the most important ones I need for this year. I have a lot to worry about, Pia being sick is the least I wanna worry about because when it comes to Pia, when something happens to her, I easily loose track of my goals, she is the main reason why I strive hard in life. The second wish is important for me because I am surrounded with stupid people who tries so hard to get on my nerves, yep at school and someone at home. The one at home, I hate her so much, hope karma hits her hard, as in big time karma.

That's about it for today. Gtg, have to shower and prepare for school and browse a little for Socio and English2 exam later.


Dec 8, 2010

Or So SHE Thought

A person who never will be happy. That is what she felt for weeks and weeks, it is so tiring she said.
A talk, a hug, a tea, a smoke, happy faces seen in one room, these has been her confinement.
On her confinement is where she stays everyday, during those stressful days.
Weeks passed, confinement got tired of her and soon, they left, leaving her with a poker face.

A day or 2, she decided to change the atmosphere, preferred to live the life.
It was okay, she said. For a change, she liked that stress free place.
No more tiring dramas, no awkward silences, no nothing except the feeling of lightness.
It was fun until it ended.

Trying to avoid it so much, it still kept on nagging her.
Why? she asked. Am I not doing my part? Is compromising not enough?
No answer, just stared in darkness. Poker face is what all she has again.
And that got her thinking, am I gonna be a person, who has no right to be happy again? Or so she thought...

Dec 5, 2010